6,969
APPLICANTS
6,969
INTERVIEWS
6,969
FORWARDS
| JOB DESCRIPTION | |
|---|---|
| POSITION TITLE | CEO of Aviator | Venture Capitalist | Owner of a Thriving Incubator | 10% Holder of Pied Piper |
| LOCATION | Silicon Valley, CA |
| EMPLOYMENT TYPE | In addition to stealing two of my four packs of Fage yogurt, your ship-jumping coder happened to walk off with the rest of our toilet paper, so that -- hmm. Speaking of things that can't be wiped away and flushed, how are you, Mr. 'Mohanahan'? |
| EXPERIENCE | I've always wanted to go to binding arbitration. Everybody who's ever sued me has settled out of court -- wimps. |
| STATUS | I shan't be attending out of contempt, so this will have to serve as our goodbye. Don't let the door hit ya where God split ya. |
| DESCRIPTION | I've heard quite a few exciting pitches over the last week, but I'll be forced to forgo those opportunities because of your mediocrity. You see, Richard, when I invited you into my incubator, I promised to get you ready for the outside world. But I failed to do that. I wouldn't trust you out there in the real world as far as I could throw you. And to be honest, I could probably throw you all the way across the front yard. |
| HIRING LEAD |
You look like a ferret that gave up on himself six months ago. |
| APPROVED SALARY | $1 Billion |